Champions are Not Just Athletes

by Sandy Jackson

I have sat at probably 124,516 ball games watching my precious nieces, dear friends' kids, and my own competitive boys battle it out on the field with a ball and glove. I love the game of baseball. I'll even watch complete strangers play the sport. I had no idea what the future would hold when Nicholas, now 17, read the Sundown Little League sign-up poster at the age of four. You see, it was almost every day after that for a full year that he asked, “Is it time for me to play ball?” Matthew was right behind him, not satisfied with being a spectator at his brother's games; at five he signed up to take his place on the field. 

Fast forward a few years with moving up through the different levels—hitting off a tee, to coach pitch, and finally to kid pitch. There were tough losses, close wins, exciting championships, and lots of hot dogs eaten along the way. It was this past year that the term "champion" took on a new meaning for our family. I am not referring to the "major league" throws that our youngest son, Matthew, threw from third to first to make the close out plays. And I am not alluding to the thrilling state championship for which Nicholas had the privilege to pitch and cheer his teammates on for the win. These young men started down the walk of champions when they obeyed our Lord by being immersed in baptism last summer and the new beginning of this year. 

I would like to share with you from the very words of our Creator why being a champion for him is the most important accomplishment our children can achieve, and how we as parents can enjoy the win with them in the end. 

1.  Our kids need faithful coaches. They need to see us living the Christian life 24/7. Will we make the wrong calls from time to time? You betcha! But our children need to hear our prayers of repentance and see us striving to do better every day. 

2.  Our kids need to KNOW God. This only comes by knowing His playbook, the Holy Bible.  May we look to the psalmist as an example to instill the precious truths of God and his promises in our children's hearts, so they will possess the strategies for defeating Satan, their most vicious opponent (119:7.) Our influence, as powerful as it is, will only stand on the foundation that we have built for those little souls. There is no substitute for reading, talking about, and practicing every day the game plan laid out for us by the "Divine Planner." Let's not just be spectators of Christianity. 

3.  Our kids need to be trained to be team players. Young people need to be taught to look for opportunities to stretch out a hand, helping a fellow player up when she has fallen or going through a slump. 1 Peter 4:10-11 reminds us when we serve those around us not only is our team built up, but ultimately God is glorified in our doing good toward others. Kids are valuable to the kingdom no matter what age they are; we need to remind them of this and help them cultivate their talents to serve the church and their neighbors. 

4.  Our kids need guidance in choosing good companions. They will become like those they spend the most time with. Supervise your child and who he is hanging around with. Supervision requires your active attention!  The book of Proverbs is packed with valuable counsel for choosing friends. “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:9). The desire to be a champion is contagious. May our children be godly examples before others (Titus 2:7), yet always looking for righteous role models to emulate. 

Let us cheer our children on to look to their Father as their head coach with the prize of heaven ever before them. And may they long for the eternal reward of living a faithful Christian life, more than the temporary shiny trophies of this earthly abode. 

Recommended Reading

Jackson, Jason. Parents Obey Your Father. https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1190-parents-obey-your-father

Jackson, Jason. Building Character Before the Concrete Sets. https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1233-building-character-before-the-concrete-sets 

Jackson, Wayne. Joel 1:3 — Parental Responsibility. https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/922-joel-1-3-parental-responsibility

We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby.....or Have We?

by Sandy Jackson

In an age where we can heat up a meal in minutes, transport ourselves across town in a flash, pop up any recipe on the internet, read countless articles at our finger tips about fostering happy marriages and raising “kids we want to keep,” why are America’s mothers and wives feeling ill-equipped to fulfill their duties in these roles. Do not be mistaken, I am thankful for the microwave that popped our popcorn last night in two minutes, our mini-van that embodies the smell of sweaty ballplayers, the ease of googling while I shop the ingredients for the chicken dish I will make for supper, and all the wonderful marital and parental advice I can read on blogs of faithful Christians. But with all the technological advances and modern conveniences women have today, why do we still fall short of getting the important things in life done. Please notice, I did not say the urgent things done. There is a difference.  

I have been reading the Autobiography of G.C. Brewer and was intrigued by one of the chapters titled “Grandpappy and Grandmammy.” The few pages of chapter ten tell of the couple, Mr and Mrs. E.G. Hall, Brewer’s parents-in-law and the events that lead to “Grandpappy” becoming a New Testament Christian. Most of the words are dedicated to describing ‘Miss Betty” aka “Grandmammy.” Her humble servitude was quite remarkable. She birthed eleven children, eight of whom grew into adulthood and seven of those outlived her. Read what the author penned as one of the joys of his mother-in-law’s life.  

The Hall home was the preacher’s home, and many of the older brethren now living, and many more of those who have passed on, enjoyed its hospitality. Better meals no preacher ever ate than those that were cooked by “Grandmammy.” With a houseful of children and without servants, she could “keep” the preacher and attend every service of a meeting. And that was before eugenics, gymnastics, athletics, and swimming had come to make our women strong and robust! (Brewer, p. 52).

G.C. Brewer wrote these words about his mother-in-law from his wife’s childhood recollections and what he himself witnessed as he lived in their home shortly after his marriage to their daughter.  

Here are some points that hit me like a brick as I read the tender words about this “spiritually robust” lady living 79 years before passing from this life in September, 1931.

1.  Leading her family toward heaven was forefront in her mind and heart all the days of her life.  

When she married E.G. Hall, he was not a New Testament Christian. Her husband was exposed to faithful preaching of God’s word as he attended the services of the church along side his wife. Soon he became aware that his preconceived ideas of the church and his salvation did not match the simple teaching of the Bible. Her determination to live a Christian life before her husband and teach him the way of the Lord eventually brought saving results described as, “Grandpappy and Grandmammy were not only one flesh, but they were of one faith” by Mr. Hall believing the truths of the Bible and obeying. (Brewer, p.51.)

Mrs. Hall is described to have loved her children immensely, caring for their every need. It was said her “whole joy in life was seeing her children well and happy and whose daily prayer was that they might be faithful in the service of the Lord. (Brewer, p. 50.) She found joy in what matters most; the same thing John talked about in III John 1:4. Just like every mother that has ever walked on this earth, she was not perfect and made many mistakes, but her concern for her family’s eternal spiritual rewards out weighed any reward they would receive at work, on the ball field, or in the classroom. 

2.  She made no excuses nor complained about the Christian service set before her.

Anyone would understand her fatigue and weariness in caring for a large household, yet she hosted many meals for preachers and other Christians in her home. She didn’t have the conveniences of ordering take-out, or popping a meal in the microwave, or even dashing quickly to the store to pick up last minute items for dinner. She served with what she had with a cheerful disposition. I can imagine her house a little dusty with children running around at foot but a home welcoming to guests when the opportunities afforded her. She taught her children the blessing in giving without a word needing to be spoken....her actions spoke for themselves. 

And just as the psalmist expressed, she experienced “joy in the presence of God.” Psalm 16:11. Brewer writes of his mother-in law recalling her journeys to church services in a wagon pulled by an ox, yet never remembered being late. As mothers, are we well prepared and enthusiastic about worshipping Jehovah every time the saints are gathered together?

3. She saw the bigger picture and made it her purpose in life. 

“She did not have a “career,” in the popular acceptation of that term; she did not belong to any clubs; she never sought prominence in public affairs; she never attained either fame or fortune" (Brewer, p. 50). Today, the opportunities for advancement for women are immeasurable, yet the women who hold titles of CEO, PTO presidents and other “prestigious positions” are saying they feel unfulfilled and their families are spiraling down out of control. I’m not saying stay at home moms always have it all together with the perkiest attitudes either. God knew it best when he urged us through Matthew, an inspired writer, to place the kingdom of God and emulating Christ-like ways at the top of our to do list. He promises all of our physical needs will be taken care of. I want to trust and follow the One who has a perfect record of keeping his promises.  

Many Christian women in the 21st century are doing exactly what “Grandmammy” Hall did, living their lives for the Lord, serving their families and encouraging those around them with what state of the art resources they have been blessed with; and each of us has many! These modern day ladies may never have words penned in a biography about their faithful service, but their names are being written in the Book of Life (Revelation 20:12). I’ll admit I enjoy reading about the days gone by and do not intentionally diminish any of the hardships and struggles that people encountered that, honestly, few of us will ever experience in our lifetimes. But I do long for the determined focus that faithful Christians had even just a couple of generations ago. The fact remains that discomforts, toils, afflictions, and difficulty will encompass each generation; but at the time of our departure from this life let it be said of us,“she did what she could” to further the cause of Christ.

Brewer, G.C.  Autobiography of G.C. Brewer. Murfreesboro, Tennessee: Dehoff Publications,1957. 

Other Recommended Reading:

Jackson, Wayne. The Value of the Kingdom of God.
https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1564-value-of-the-kingdom-of-heaven-the

Jackson, Jason. Will Our Children Trust in the Lord?
https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1221-will-our-children-trust-in-the-lord

The Better Way

by Jill Jackson

In the previous articles, we discussed the trials of those who grew up in “Christ-less Christian homes.” We noted that the first step to walking down the “road of a better way” is to acquire a balanced view of sin. But how does one walk miles, not just a few steps, from those trials and baggage on that road? 

The past is over, the future is yet to be, and what you choose to do in the present will largely determine what life has in store for you. Will you choose to hold onto your baggage? Will you allow the past to burden you? Will you continue to be the victim suffering in silence, allowing your perception to be molded by your experience? Or will you choose God’s plan for the family as found in the Scriptures? Will you choose to allow your start in life to turn you away from God, or will you draw near to God as the sustainer of your life? Will you continue to go through life pointing the finger of blame at your parents, neglecting to see the accountability you have for your choices today? Will you hold onto resentment like a cherished friend, despite the destruction she brings to your life?

The time has come to let go of the hurt, anger and the desire for justice and validation. Now is the time to leave the wounds from your parents behind. Now is the time to quit trying to prove to them, or others, that what they did was wrong. Now is the time to worry about yourself and leave the concerns of the past in God’s hands. Concern yourself with the people your choices will impact in life (i.e. your own family).

Recognizing the choices we make affect ourselves, and those around us, is a principle Joshua tried to get the Israelites to see. He urged them to fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and faithfulness. His desire was for them to be loyal to God alone and to turn from the false gods they had worshipped. He asked them to make a choice, to decide whom they will serve: the one true God, or the false gods they had been influenced to worship by previous generations; or those they had come to know in Canaan. He goes on to declare that he, and those within his house, would serve the Lord (Joshua 24:14-15).

Today, like the Israelites, you have a choice. Fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and faithfulness by the instructions found in his word, or allow previous generations (or the world) to be your guiding influence in life. You have an opportunity to give your family the things you wish you had: positive role models, spiritual guidance, the ideal Christian home. You can choose to serve God, and spare those who depend on you from the heartache you experienced, by following the plan of action found in Colossians chapter three.

Choose to serve the Lord by setting “your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2). Recognize this world is not our home. There is a better home we can claim as our own, if we will live according to God’s commands. There’s more to life than the physical dwelling we are now experiencing. There’s something to be gained that will make all the suffering and perseverance worth it. Focus on what awaits you.

Choose to serve the Lord by putting to death what is earthly in you (Colossians 3:5-10). When Christ was put on in baptism, a declaration was made that we recognized our lost state and desired our sins to be washed away. When we were lifted up from that watery grave, we made a commitment to put our sins to death—to begin a new life in which our aim was to live for Christ and conquer the sins that plague us. This conquering process requires an understanding of our vulnerability to temptation, a watchfulness for pitfalls, and prayers for God’s help (Matthew 26:41). Christians are called to be different from those in the world; but if there is no proactive effort to put to death what is earthly within, how will we stand out as ones who have put on Christ?

Choose to serve the Lord by putting on the virtues of Christ (Colossians 3:12-15). The Christian life is not just about conquering sin—it’s about becoming more like Christ! There’s no Christian who can be pleasing to God while failing to manifest the name of Christ in her life. Christ provided the perfect example of one who was full of virtues we need to emulate. He was full of compassion. He was kind, humble, meek, and patient. He was forgiving, loving, and peaceful. When dealing with relationships (especially troubled ones), how much improvement could be seen if we showed more compassion, kindness and forgiveness? How many burdens could be lifted if we seek peace in our relationships? How much easier it could be to implement these virtues if our attitude is more humble than haughty? Put on the virtues of Christ.

Choose to serve the Lord by letting the word dwell in you (Colossians 3:16). One can’t expect to create a better home if the crucial ingredient—God’s word—isn’t permeating the heart. Within the Bible are the directions for a happy life. Will it be problem free? No. Will it always be easy to serve God? No. But consistent study of the Bible will equip us with an understanding of right and wrong. Encouragement comes from reading the struggles others endured for the sake of Christ. Because our hearts and minds are filled with hope for our heavenly home, we are motivated to press on.

Choose to serve the Lord by giving thanks to God (Colossians 3:17). Certainly, some weren’t given the start in life they deserved. Hardships can result from the choices of others. But one must move from a constant focus of what was wrong with her childhood home, to what’s right in her life, if she ever hopes to continue to walk down the road to a better life. Thank God for the ways he has provided for you—for the good role models in your life, for the people who have showed you kindness and generosity, for the job he has blessed you with, for the family he has given you, and for the opportunity you have to give your children something you did not have.

Put your baggage down. Understand you don’t have to be burdened with it from this point on. Choose to step on the road to a better way by acquiring a balanced view of sin—recognizing you are imperfect and in need of God’s forgiveness, that you must forgive to be forgiven, that your parents’ sins do not give you the right to sin, and that sin always separates one from God. With that perspective in place, begin walking that road to a better life. Choose to make God’s ways your priority. Serve him in word and deed. Focus on the eternal. Be driven to put to death the sins you struggle with. Strive to become more like Christ. Be proactive in putting the word into your mind and heart. Thank God for the ways he has cared for you. Make these actions a daily priority and in doing so, you will bring your family closer to the ideal Christian home—a home where the family looks forward to the eternal reward, where people strive to live better tomorrow than they did today, where Christ is the ultimate role model and where the Bible is the most treasured book. Will it be a place where perfect people live? No, but it will be a home in which Christ dwells.

Recommended Reading

Jackson, Jason. Character Studies in Joshua. Christian Courier:  https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1496-character-studies-in-joshua

Jackson, Wayne. He Restores My Soul. Christian Courier:

https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1297-he-restores-my-soul

Photo Copyright: <a href='http://www.123rf.com/profile_korzeniewskidaniel'>korzeniewskidaniel / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

The Balanced View of Sin

by Jill Jackson

For those who grew up in a “Christ-less Christian home,” the first step on the road of the better way takes place when they acquire a balanced view of sin. They may not even realize their view of sin is off-kilter. They may not understand how this baggage of tainted perspective hinders them from setting their baggage down and walking away, but it does.

One may have lived a lifetime watching hypocrisy at its best. As we discussed in the previous article, there is much silent suffering . . . shame, fear, brokenness, and loneliness. Along with those wounds there is anger—for the suffering or abuse they endured, for the home they should have had, for the way others believed their home was a positive spiritual environment, and perhaps for being let down the most by the persons they should have been able to value the most. Many may struggle with a desire for justice. Justice, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. But when born out of anger, the desired outcome may remain out of reach, leaving one still holding that heavy baggage. Blatant transgressors need to be exposed for what they are, but without having a balanced view of sin, one could do so for all the wrong reasons. Consider the following truths with me with regard to sin and a desire for vindication.

First, each of us bear the burden of sin. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). Perhaps some parents have no regard for God and the transgressions they commit against him. Maybe some are just weak and find themselves succumbing to temptation repeatedly. Whatever the reason, those who grew up in a "Christ-less Christian home" must be objective enough to recognize they too, sin and are in need of the blood of Christ. It’s easy to fall into the trap of she is a greater sinner than me mentality, but Jesus taught against this mindset in John 8:1-11. The scribes and Pharisees brought him a woman, whom had been caught in adultery, desiring to stone her. After writing something on the ground, Christ told those seeking justice, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her” (v.7). Some children may feel so wronged by their parents. They may be perfectly right and just for feeling that way, but they must be balanced enough to see that they too are imperfect and transgress against God.

Second, each of us must forgive to be forgiven (Luke 6:37). Forgiving does not mean forgetting. It’s impossible to erase the memories stored within our minds, but forgiving means letting go of the resentment. It’s the proactive effort of releasing the anger or ill will attached to the hurt committed against you. Withholding forgiveness will cause grudges to grow like a cancer within. It's toxic to one’s well being mentally, physically and spiritually. Failing to forgive parents does nothing to hurt them, but in reality prevents the child from receiving God’s forgiveness. One with a balanced view of sin can see objectively the pain and anger felt for one’s parents is not worth the depriving of her own eternity.

Third, those whose parents sin against them does not give them a license to rebel and live a sinful lifestyle. Some feel entitled to rebel and do what they want because they lived through the school of hard knocks. Experiencing wrong from the hand of others does not entitle one to “enjoy the pleasures of sin” now, at the expense of righteousness, without being accountable for the consequences.

I was once talking to someone who was willfully engaging in sinful activities. I was trying to get him to turn away from these behaviors and come back to God's ways. He began running through his long list of those who had (in his mind) wronged him. He wanted me to see these sins of others (his opinion, not mine) as justification for his behavior. I interrupted him to ask one question. What does what ________ did to you have to do with what you are currently doing? Sin is personal. We are each responsible for our actions (Deuteronomy 24:16). Others sinning against us does not give us a free pass to turn around and sin. One with a balanced view of sin recognizes growing up in a home where God was not acknowledged, where Christianity was abused, where mistreatment abounded does not make one less accountable for her choices.

Fourth, sin always has the same outcome. Can pleasure be found in sin? Certainly. Otherwise what would be tempting about it? But those pleasures come at a cost that's always the same. Sin separates us from God (Isaiah 59:1-2). It draws us away for his truth, from those in his body, from clear spiritual perspective, and most of all, sin puts our souls in jeopardy. "For the wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23). No one walks away from sin unscathed. Even if it appears that your parents are not suffering for their sins—and perhaps at this very moment they aren't—but eventually, if unrepentant of, they will suffer. The angry individual looks forward to the day, but the one with a balanced view of sin fears the day, because she recognizes eternity is sealed at the time of death! The experience of living in a “Christ-less Christian home” can create an unhealthy concentration on the sins of others (namely parents) to the point that it blinds one to her own transgressions. It can create a hard, unforgiving heart that can prevent one from receiving forgiveness for her own sins. It can cause one to believe she’s entitled to a leeway she’s not. Enduring this homelife can delude one to the outcome of sin!

Work to acquire a balanced view of sin. Strive to set your baggage down and walk the “road of a better way.” Let go of your hurt and anger, knowing God knows the tears and griefs of your heart (Psalm 56:8). Leave your desire for justice and validation in his hands. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

Recommended Reading

Jackson, Jason. Stronger Than Ever: Heavenly Advice for Earthly Life (True stories of real people who overcame adversity and are stronger because of the power of Christ.). 2008. Stockton, CA: Christian Courier Publications. 

Jackson, Wayne. Why Do Good People Do Bad Things.
https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1323-why-do-good-people-do-bad-things

Coping With Baggage

by Jill Jackson

Everyone has baggage. There’s the baggage of regret—things we wish we would have done differently or things we wish we hadn’t done all together. There’s the baggage of guilt that often accompanies regret for the pain we caused others or for the way we transgressed against God. There’s also the baggage of hurtful experiences—sometimes self-inflicted, others when we were purely victims.

Children who grew up in “Christ-less Christian homes” likely endured many hurtful circumstances over which they had no control. They lived in a home that others thought was a good Christian home, but in reality their home failed to be different from those in the world . . . or was even worse than a worldly home. Those who experienced a home like this often have a unique set of baggage.

The Baggage of Silent Suffering

Those reared in such homes often suffer in silence—from shame, fear or from being so broken down they believe no one cares. These homes are often filled with lies and manipulation. Many times the church family is completely unaware of the hypocrisy in these homes, but the children within witness it on a daily basis. There is legitimate hurt that accompanies hearing people say one thing and seeing them do another.

It can be a very lonely existence when bearing such burdens alone. Many of these children adapt to this isolation and become self-sufficient in ways one never should be. Leery and untrusting of others, unable to appreciate the bond between those in Christ, they may struggle to form relationships as they age. They may forever deprive themselves of the strength, encouragement and spiritual wisdom from their Christian family (1 Thessalonians 5:14, Hebrews 10:24). Going it alone—even suffering alone—has become a more comfortable existence than being with those who share the common ultimate goal of getting to heaven, but this is not what God had in mind for his family.

The Baggage of Tainted Perspective

We’re influenced and molded by the things we see and do over and over. Our patterns (chosen by us or chosen for us) and habits become our normalcy whether the behaviors are good and normal, or not.

I am a NASM certified (National Academy of Sports Medicine) CPT, PES, and CES. I have logged over 2,000 hours as a personal trainer. When it comes to physical training there’s something we call muscle memory. When a particular movement is repeated over and over, the body becomes so familiar with the motion, that eventually it’s performed without any thought. The bad news is, you can actually build muscle memory when doing something the wrong way! Take for example the squat. When doing a squat, one aspect of proper body mechanics is to push your weight into the heels of you feet. Many times I see people doing squats, and every time they sink down, their heels pop up. Not good! Very bad for the knees, but the abnormal way of doing squats has become what feels normal because of muscle memory. The good news is the body can be retrained. You can correct the movement and build a new muscle memory. The difficult part is that for a while, the correct way of doing things will feel very abnormal.

So it is with our life experiences. For Christians who grew up in “Christ-less Christian homes,” there’s most often the baggage of a tainted perspective. They have abnormal “muscle memory.” What they have grown up seeing from their parent(s) is their normal, despite how dysfunctional or hypocritical they may have been. Perhaps they suffer from the perception that all Christians are like their parent(s): manipulative, deceivers, liars, blatant sinners who in reality make no real effort to do what is right. Their perspective can become very jaded when it comes to Christianity. Or maybe their perspective is that their home was “normal” and they fall into a vicious cycle of repeating the same destructive behaviors they endured. If not corrected, this tainted perspective can create problems that could plague future family generations.

The Baggage of Rebellion

As a result of the baggage of silent suffering and tainted perspective, the baggage of rebellion is often born. Perhaps the word disgust doesn’t even begin to describe what these children feel for the disgraceful behavior they saw from the grown-ups in their home. Often the parent/child relationship is so fractured that even grown children are faced with the temptation to rebel against God. There can be a psychological war within the hearts of these children. Sometimes their perception can become so distorted, they fail to be able to recognize that some of what their parents taught them with regard to the Scriptures was good and right. In this confused state, pleasing God is sometimes seen as pleasing their parents—the last people they care to emulate. This may seem to others like no big deal, but in their shoes it can be huge—especially when dealing with unbalanced parents.

This inability to separate serving God from the behavior within the home makes these children vulnerable to the temptation of rebelling against God’s ways. The reality is these children could lose their souls as a result of this power struggle, which really reflects more of a hostility to the parent, than a hostility to God. But rebellion against God, for any reason, is still rebellion, which is sin. It’s quite tragic that some, after suffering and enduring a “Christ-less Christian home,” break free and leave the nest only to continue to be a prisoner of the past and destroy the future that awaits.

This baggage is real and destructive. It’s a painful weight that can prevent people from living the Christian life the way God intended, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There’s a better way, and perhaps the first step on the road of that better way is acquiring a balanced view of sin. Will the pursuit of this “better way” cause all the painful memories to vanish? No, but perhaps it will help those suffering to see they’re not required to carry the baggage they have with them in the future (Philippians 3:13-14). And the more distance one travels from the baggage, the brighter the future shines. Though this life will not be without burdens and suffering, we should all take heart and remember there is a peace in the fellowship we have with Christ (John 16:33). “Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved” (Psalm 55:22).

Recommended Reading

Jackson, Jason. A Prayer of the Afflicted—A Study of Psalm 102. https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1154-prayer-of-the-afflicted-a-study-of-psalm-102-a

Jackson, Wayne. Promises From God For Troubled Souls. https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/179-firm-promises-from-god-for-troubled-souls

Jackson, Wayne. How Do I Deal With Conflicting Emotions? https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/329-how-do-i-deal-with-conflicting-emotions

Picture Copyright: <a href='http://www.123rf.com/profile__ella_'>_ella_ / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

The “Christ-less Christian Home”

by Jill Jackson

The Christian home, by God's design, should be a place that thrives with love—love for God, his ways, and one another. It should provide an environment that lends itself to learning and developing with a focus on spiritual things. It should be a place where actions accompany the words professed. It should be a place where Christ's presence is seen and felt by those who dwell there. The Christian home should be a safe haven—a shelter from the ways of the world.

My husband and I were reared in such homes. Sometimes when counting your blessings, you realize that not everyone experienced the same blessings you did, and your gratitude to God is magnified. 

We all know people who did not grow up in a Christian home. Some were not nurtured in a Christian home because they came to the truth later in their life. Either they had an itch they could not scratch and began digging through the word, or someone who loved them began to teach them and opened their eyes to things they had not known. Because of their tender hearts, they obeyed the gospel when it became known to them. 

Often we don't fully appreciate the challenges these individuals experience. How hard it can be to overcome and change years of habits and ways for the service of God! Yet these people desire to be the trailblazers for their family. They face the challenge of trying to lead and be an example, though they had no one to show them the way in their formative years. How blessed their families are! Through that one person, the church may be blessed with many generations of faithful Christians. These are truly precious people!

God’s family is composed of individuals with a variety of experiences: those who were reared in Christian homes, those who were not. Then there are those who grew up in “Christian” homes in which Christ clearly did not exist. Homes where spiritual truths may have been spoken but blatantly not applied. 

I know you have heard of stories such as these: the preacher who teaches God's plan for marriage and the importance of following the Scriptures, but is unfaithful to his wife; the deacon who is benevolent and hospitable, but abuses his children; the mother who has it all together when others are watching, but behind closed doors drains the bottles of alcohol hidden throughout her house. 

Parents such as these have failed to recognize the principle emphasized in Colossians 3:21. "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged" (Colossians 3:21). The idea, which applies to both parents, is that our actions and attitudes should not create a rebellion within the hearts of our children. We should not give our children cause to reject the teaching we are striving to instill in their hearts. 

Many children who have grown up in a "Christ-less Christian home" grow so sick of the hypocritical environment that they reject God all together. They find it impossible to value anything their parents taught them when they clearly see the teachings were reflected in lip service only. It may be difficult, even for adult children, to recognize there may have been truth and value in the principles, despite the imperfect (or downright abusive) parent. The sufferings of these children is like a shadow from which they can never completely get away. Just like one who comes to the truth as an adult, these people have challenges we can't fully comprehend. We should never pretend to empathize, but we can sympathize, encourage, and be the family for these brothers and sisters that they didn't have in their youth. They need our support. 

Perhaps you are one who grew up in a "Christ-less Christian home." Maybe you are like me, and did have a Christian home, but you have friends and family who experienced a “Christ-less Christian home.” Whichever shoes fits, I hope you will take time to join me for this series of upcoming articles:

The Baggage – a look at the silent suffering, the problem of a tainted perspective and the temptation of rebellion.

The Balanced View – a look at the realities of sin.

The Better Way – a look at choices and the future.

It is my hope that this study of God’s word will help and encourage those who did not experience the ideal Christian home. I pray that it will help them create for their family what they lacked. It is my hope that this study will help those of us who did have the ideal Christian home become more aware of the struggles others may be facing and seek ways we can serve them for the building up of the Lord’s church.

Recommended Reading

Jackson, Jason. Parents Obey Your Father

https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1190-parents-obey-your-father

Jackson, Jason. Will Our Children Trust in the Lord?

https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1221-will-our-children-trust-in-the-lord

Jackson, Wayne.The Influence of Home Life.

https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/981-influence-of-home-life-the

Jackson, Wayne. The Destiny of Our Children: Nature of Nurture?

https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/69-destiny-of-our-children-nature-or-nurture-the

Do You Profess Godliness?

by Betty Jackson

Recently I was asked some questions about modesty and the biblical condemnation of sensuality. I appreciated the attitude of the one seeking to do the right thing. It is for those like her that this article is written, hoping that it will appeal to honest hearts who are eager to apply the biblical directives for daily life. First, we will study the information, then provide some practical applications.

The Bible does discuss the attire of women. In 1 Timothy 2:9 we are instructed to dress modestly. The term “modest” reflects the extremes of extravagant overdressing to the point of ridiculousness, and underdressing in provocative clothing. Note this partial quote on 1 Timothy 2:9-10 from the Expositor’s Bible Commentary: 

“‘You are Christian women.... This profession you have made known to the world. It is necessary, therefore, that those externals of which the world takes cognizance should not give the lie to your profession. And how is unseemly attire, paraded at the very time of public worship, compatible with the reverence which you have professed? Reverence God by reverencing yourselves; by guarding with jealous care the dignity of those bodies with which He has endowed you....’” 

The author’s vocabulary is more formal than ours; but the point is clear, what we wear should not void our profession of being a Christian. Other commentators point out that the verses cited include one’s general deportment as well as attire. One can act immodest, even when properly clothed.

What Is Lasciviousness?

In some passages the word sensual is the same word translated elsewhere as lasciviousness. What is lasciviousness or sensuality? Since the New Testament was written in Koine Greek (the common language of that time), it may be helpful to consult some scholarly works for a clearer idea of its meaning. It has been defined as: “unbridled lust, excess, licentiousness, lasciviousness, wantonness, outrageousness, shamelessness, insolence” (Thayer: http://www.studylight.org/lexicons/greek/gwview.cgi?n=766). 

Burton Coffman comments upon the word where it is used in 2 Corinthians 12:21. It reflects “all kinds of misconduct and defiance of public decency” (James Burton Coffman, Commentary on 2 Corinthians 12:21, http://www.studylight.org/commentaries/bcc/view.cgi?bk=46&ch=12

“It is the insolence that knows no restraint, that has no sense of the decencies of things, that will dare anything that wanton caprice demands, that is careless of public opinion and its own good name so long as it gets what it wants” (William Barclay’s Daily Bible Study.

http://www.studylight.org/commentaries/dsb/view.cgi?bk=2co&ch=12).

Besides indecent public display, there is an attitude of rebellion included in the word. When women wear clothing that is indecent, after being thoroughly taught, it seems they are displaying the insolence or disregard for God and godly public opinion. It is the attitude, “I will wear whatever I please, regardless of what anyone says.”

Proverbs 7 warns the young man to be cautious of the woman “with the attire of a harlot” (vs. 10). Even in the days of Solomon, women could dress in a way as to lure men. Likely, the attire of many today is much worse than those prostitutes! Clothing does matter.

It is doubtful than many would disagree with the fact that immodesty is rampant every where, including worship services. Some believe that all women who dress immodestly are wanting men to look at them in an unholy admiring way. That is probably an overstatement, because style often dictates to women who do not think about how clothing defines them. I suppose one may not realize the effect that the female body has upon men. The spiritual woman wants to be known for her head, heart and godliness. The common fashion of the day does not profess those things. Clothes are low cut, tight, short, and see through. Cleavage is not a word commonly used in public among delicate-speaking people. Yet, cleavages are seen every day in the public arena. Modesty is paramount for the woman who claims to be a Christian (1 Timothy 2:9-10). 

How Does One Dress Modestly?

How can one apply the lessons taught in scripture about modesty? Use a mirror! Use your own conscience, guided by the Bible. If you have even a twinge of conscience about the immodesty of what you are about to wear before others, don’t wear it. Take note of other women who dress in a godly way. You may have different tastes in colors and style, and that is fine. 

There are lines that may be a matter of personal judgment. However, immodesty is when the fullness or cleavage of one’s breasts shows above the neckline, if too much chest (even the “flat” chest) is revealed, if a sweater is so tight that it reveals every outline of the body, or is of thin fabric revealing the underlying breast (check the mirror), if slacks or skirts fit like a glove — clinging to every line, or the garment is short, showing too much leg (look in a mirror!). (Cf. Exodus 28:42; Isaiah 47:1-3.) 

Also, you must remember that clothing moves when you move. Standing upright and still does not always determine modesty as you bend over or sit down. Try moving around to see how that skirt pulls up or the blouse shows your chest or backside as you bend over. (Use the mirror!) Don’t be lazy about searching for modest clothing, or ideas for how to make what you have modest. Seek help from a sister who sews if you must. 

Some may agree that one must be modest; but they compartmentalize about where to be modest. Certain events and places are considered exempt from the requirements of modesty. But immodesty in any public place is not beautiful to God. True beauty is precious to Him when we wear a meek and quiet spirit and clothing that matches our profession of godliness (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Paul dreaded a visit to the city of Corinth, “I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier, and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced” (2 Corinthians 12:21). Would the good apostle mourn the sensual way so many Christians dress and act, if he visited us? It is frightening to note that the list of works of the flesh that will keep us out of heaven includes sensuality or lasciviousness. (Cf. Gal. 5:19.)  Are we risking condemnation by Jesus for what we wear?

Love does not tempt another to sin. As Rick Brumback said, “God does nothing to lure man into sin... If we are to be like our Father, we should be certain that we never tempt others to lust and sin either.”  (See James 1:13-15.) We have the responsibility to acknowledge the reality that a person could entice another to lust. We show a lack of love when we violate the biblical requirements of true modesty. (See: Matthew 5:27-28; 1 John 4:7-8.) 

Show others that you have a special dignity in contrast to the women described in 2 Timothy 3:6. Influence is powerful. A woman who demonstrates purity and modesty can bring the word of God to her mate and others by her life (1 Peter 3:1-4). Let us let our lights shine as women whose lives declare we are sisters of King Jesus (Matthew 5:15-16; Hebrews 2:11-17; Revelation 17:14).

Recommended Reading

Barclay, William. 1956. “The Letters to the Corinthians,” The Daily Bible Study Series. Philadelphia: The Westminster Press. Commentary on 2 Corinthians 12:21, p. 296.

Brumback, Rick. To Disrobe or Not to Disrobe. http://swcofc.org/to-disrobe-or-not-to-disrobe/

Harris, Lauren. 2014. Respect. http://girltogirl-cofc.blogspot.com/2014/05/respect.html

Jackson, Wayne. What Is Lasciviousness? https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1123-what-is-lasciviousness

Jackson, Wayne. The Value of Modesty. https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/65-value-of-modesty-the

Nicoll, William R. "Commentary on 1 Timothy 2:1.” Expositor's Bible Commentary. http://www.studylight.org/commentaries/teb/view.cgi?bk=53&ch=2

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